Afghanistan

The solution to our lingering occupation of Afghistan is simple: just convince the Taliban to change their name.

All the big Al Qaeda guys are hiding in Pakistan anyway. The only reason we can't just pull out and hand the country over to the Taliban, which is an alliance of Pashtun, the country's largest ethnic group, is because of the link between their name and the 9/11 attacks. But all of the Taliban higher-ups who were involved in that are dead or captured.

So change your name to "The Pashtun Anti-Terrorist Alliance" or something, and you can have the country back.

I'm totally serious about this. In fact, I'm pretty that it is what's going to happen.

And I hate Nixon!

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse.

Adam Walsh's Killer

I've been following this case for years, basically because I think John Walsh is a fucktard, and his right-wing kill-the-bastards-and-let-god-sort-it-out thoughts on crime in this country have hurt way more people than they've saved. That being said, he really did deserve to know.

EBONY

I, like many of you, have been waiting with baited breath, trying to guess who Ebony Magazine will name as its person of the year.

The suspense is over.