The Next Superman Sequel?

Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet: "EARTH—Former vice president Al Gore—who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save—launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.

'I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen,' said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message. 'They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn't they heed me before it was too late?'

Al Gore—or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al—placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity's hubristic folly."

GREAT QUOTES IN POLITICAL HISTORY: Pragmatic Considerations Edition

"The Pope! How many divisions has he got?"

— Joseph Stalin, unconcerned with the Catholic Church.

Sean Tevis in the Wall Street Journal

It says he's raised $95,000. That's "spend his douchebag opponent into the ground" money.

GREAT QUOTES IN POLITICAL HISTORY: Simplicity Edition

"I always say, 'Come to America, go to community college and marry a Kennedy.' It's all very simple"
— Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, a product of California's Community College system.

He sure is

John McCain is Really Old.

I like how it's ok to make fun of McCain for being old, but it's not ok to make fun of Obama for that other thing.

GREAT QUOTES IN POLITICAL HISTORY: Dickface Edition

You know, winning Democratic primaries is not a qualification, or a sign, of who can win the general election. If it were, every nominee would win, because every nominee wins Democratic primaries.

— Mark Penn, Hillary Clinton's chief advisor, February 13, 2008.

LOLiticians: Obama sed knock u out

GREAT QUOTES IN POLITICAL HISTORY: Future President Of Iraq Edition

I renew my call for the occupier [the United States] to leave our land. The departure of the occupier will mean stability for Iraq, victory for Islam and peace and defeat for terrorism and infidels.
— Muqtada al-Sadr, 30 March 2007

LOLiticians: This shit is bananas

GREAT QUOTES IN POLITICAL HISTORY: Cuban Edition

"Condemn me, it does not matter: history will absolve me."

— Fidel Castro, Closing words of the speech delivered at the end of trial against the July 26th (Moncada Barracks) attack.

Ted Rall Quote

One of the best lines from the book I discuss below:

If at least 50% of the American public can't identify at least three cities in a given country, we shouldn't bomb it.

Suck it, Canada!

Afghanistan

I'm even more opposed to our continued involvement in Afghanistan than I was 2 days ago. The reason? I read a book: To Afghanistan and Back. It's a graphic novel/travelogue by Ted Rall, a liberal alternative cartoonist/journalist. He took the unusual step, after the Afghanistan war started, of actually going to Afghanistan:



In short, the situation is far worse than we've been led to believe. Neither we, nor the Afghani government, nor anyone else really has control over the country. And we're not going to be able to control it, either, short of a massive WWII-style invasion. The British failed to control it, the Soviets failed, and we will fail. Hamid Karzai is basically just the mayor of Kabul, and he and the American-approved government ministers are all former oil executives. And they're the least corrupt leaders in the country, as the rest of the place is ruled by gangsters. The "Northern Alliance" and the Taliban aren't just similar — they're the same people on different days. In Iraq we're sitting in the middle of a civil war, in Afghanistan people don't even have enough ideological or ethnic loyalty to give a shit about that, it's just relentless gang violence over money, territory, and power. The uniform code of law is Sharia, not because people are particularly good-natured or religious, but because their society is so fucked up that nobody has the civil authority to make and enforce laws, so they go with the one constant they have. And since we don't have the balls to put enough troops on the ground, we engage in indiscriminate bombing campaigns that kill and maim civilians, destroy what's left of the country's infrastructure (all built by the Soviets), and accomplish nothing because we don't even know who we're really fighting.

And, by the way, the Al Qaeda leadership is chilling in Pakistan. But we can't bomb them because they have nukes.

What do Germans taking pictures look like?

My Plan for St. Louis Transit

SUPERTRAIN

Seriously, I drew a map and everything. Take a look.

GREAT QUOTES IN POLITICAL HISTORY: Liberal Edition

"If by a 'Liberal' they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people — their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties — someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a 'Liberal,' then I'm proud to say I'm a 'Liberal.'"

— John F. Kennedy