The Next Superman Sequel?

Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet: "EARTH—Former vice president Al Gore—who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save—launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.

'I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen,' said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message. 'They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn't they heed me before it was too late?'

Al Gore—or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al—placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity's hubristic folly."

GREAT QUOTES IN POLITICAL HISTORY: Pragmatic Considerations Edition

"The Pope! How many divisions has he got?"

— Joseph Stalin, unconcerned with the Catholic Church.

Sean Tevis in the Wall Street Journal

It says he's raised $95,000. That's "spend his douchebag opponent into the ground" money.

GREAT QUOTES IN POLITICAL HISTORY: Simplicity Edition

"I always say, 'Come to America, go to community college and marry a Kennedy.' It's all very simple"
— Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, a product of California's Community College system.

He sure is

John McCain is Really Old.

I like how it's ok to make fun of McCain for being old, but it's not ok to make fun of Obama for that other thing.

GREAT QUOTES IN POLITICAL HISTORY: Dickface Edition

You know, winning Democratic primaries is not a qualification, or a sign, of who can win the general election. If it were, every nominee would win, because every nominee wins Democratic primaries.

— Mark Penn, Hillary Clinton's chief advisor, February 13, 2008.

LOLiticians: Obama sed knock u out