Saturday, January 17, 2009

Stuck in the Matrix

In the first Matrix, a character raises a philosophical dilemma that is seemingly unique to the Matrix environment:
Tank: Here you go, buddy. Breakfast of champions.
Mouse: If you close your eyes it almost feels like you're eating runny eggs.
Apoc: Yeah, or a bowl of snot
Mouse: Do you know what it really reminds me of? Tasty Wheat. Did you ever eat Tasty Wheat?
Switch: No, but technically, neither did you.
Mouse: That's exactly my point. Exactly. Because you have to wonder now. How did the machines know what Tasty Wheat tasted like. huh?. Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe what I think Tasty Wheat tasted like actually tasted like oatmeal or tuna fish. That makes you wonder about a lot of things. You take chicken for example, maybe they couldn't figure out what to make chicken taste like, which is why chicken tastes like everything. Maybe couldn't figure out...
February 1st will mark six years of vegetarianism for me, and aside from a few brief instances (most notably, 10 days in 2005 that I spent in Mexico), I've maintained a strict meatless diet for the duration.

I have, during this time, eaten a lot of fake meat products, mostly made with soy. They have improved greatly in quality, taste, and variety over the past half decade. As far as replicating the taste of real meat, the quality varies. Hot dogs are perfect, and one assumes that this is because they aren't very "real" in the first place. Most fake chicken products are reliably tasty, and chicken-y, the taste like I remember chicken tasting, for the most part, and different brands taste like each other, so I'm pretty sure that they're right. From here, however, it's downhill. Burger quality varies widely, and soy doesn't simulate fat very well. Sausage tastes like sausage, but doesn't have anywhere near the right texture. Tofurky is delicious, and fake bacon tastes like turkey bacon, according to my mother.

But tonight Madelyn and I are going to try something new out: Match Meats Pork.

And I have no idea how pork tastes. I haven't eaten it in over 6 years, and I was never a big fan of pig when I was an omnivore. I have no memory of it. And I have no intermittent fake pork memories either, as this is the first fake pork that I've ever seen. I have no idea what pork tastes like, and I will have no idea if this stuff is accurate at all.

I guess I'll just have to trust the computer to get it right.

Friday, January 16, 2009

The Mustache of Green

Tom Friedman wrote a new book. Matt Taibbi wrote a review.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Obama's People

Fascinating Photo spread in the New York Times magazine. Don't miss Axelrod or Orszag.